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Chapter 5: I’ve Become a Shit Character From a Gacha Game (5)
“If I had tanned skin, I would’ve looked like a stereotypical douche.”
To avoid looking like a poodle, I told Amy to cut my hair rather short. However, maybe it’s because she’d never seen the hairstyle I drew for her, that I ended up looking like a delinquent from back home.
What’s familiar is best.
I’ve never had long hair before, so having it like that just felt awkward.
Changing my hairstyle won’t instantly change people’s perceptions of Louie, but some might see it as a change of heart.
(Is that Louie Permarten? What’s going on with his hair?)
(Look at that! He looks like he wants to pick a fight!)
Some people might view me like that, but whatever.
This is better than looking like a poodle.
Someone’s outside my door.
Who would come knocking at such a late hour?
Jennis, dressed in a pink nightgown, walked into my room.
She glanced at me with a surprised gaze, which I shook off lightly.
“I told you I’m changing my image. And that I’ll be a completely different person from now on.”
“It… suits you.
“Thank you. Anyway… What brings you here at this hour?
“... We didn’t get to speak properly since I was taken aback this morning, but I’m still a Permarten, so I feel like… we need to talk. Properly.”
Jennis produced a bottle from behind her.
I don’t know any wine etiquette.
I can open beer and soju without bottle openers, but I’ve never messed around with anything that had corks before.
Did she come here to test me?
Did she already find out that I’m not Louie?
Just because I cut my hair and said I’d clean up my act?
I know a person can’t completely change overnight, but isn’t what I did perfectly acceptable behavior?
Thankfully, it seems like nothing like that was on her mind. Jennis pulled out some glasses from the liquor cabinet in my room and placed them on the table.
Glug Glug Glug
The bittersweet smell of wine permeated through my room, as the crimson wine started filling the glass.
I do recall reading that even holding your glass a certain way is proper etiquette.
Was there a different way to hold the glass for men and women?
Should I just hold the bottom part? Like in the movies?
I slid the neck of the glass between my middle and index fingers and lightly cupped the curved part of the glass.
“You… What are you…?”
“What’s the matter?”
I began rubbing my fingers on the glass.
The wine sloshed around in the glass as my fingers continued to rub the outer curved surface.
This is blatant sexual harassment.
I don’t know if Jennis understands what’s happening, but since I don’t know the customs and manners here, I just have to act like a total scoundrel who doesn’t give two shits about them in the first place.
I downed the entire glass.
Enjoy the scent?
Savor the flavor?
I’ll do that on my own time, but I need to project an image of a crass man right now.
“... You’re definitely acting differently than usual. Weren’t you always telling me how wine needs to be savored?”
“At the end of the day, wine is just alcohol. I’ll refrain from drinking too much for my health, but isn’t the purpose of alcohol to get drunk? And…”
“The first drink should always be finished in one shot.”*
“...Are you trying to get me drunk?”
“We’re the only two Permartens left in the world, yet we’ve never drank together before. I want to see what you’re like when drunk.”
She was looking at me as if she was thinking, You’re trying to get me drunk so I spill my thoughts.
I assume Jennis came here to gauge what I’m going to be like.
Because I, Louie, suddenly changed.
“Do you really intend on going around and impregnating a bunch of women?”
“A bunch of women? Yes… that sounds about right.”
The main purpose of this harem is to ensure my survival, but having a harem on its own sounds pretty good.
If a man can have a harem without any social or judicial issues, then why not?
“But the women who carry my seed will be a ‘Permartern’. I cannot go around spilling my seed to just anyone.“
“Then what kind of women are you imagining to take as your wives?”
There are a few that come to mind instantly.
The countless companions I collected while playing PAO
Among them, the must-haves come to mind first.
The female knight of the Empire, the Elf Princess, the dark elf assassin, the guardian angel, the daughter of the Demon Lord, the half-human half-dragon, and more.
And the most recent must-have that I couldn’t pull.
I didn’t really dig deep into it because I didn’t want any spoilers, but I vaguely remember the community talking about her voice lines and how they contained clues pertaining to the end of the labyrinth.
This character might be the key to this whole deal with the Permartens and the labyrinth.
I mean, that’s what she calls herself, as annoying as it is.
I didn’t get her in real life, but I’ll get her on my side here.
There are a lot of characters.
Among them are characters that are labeled “waifu material” or “body optimized for pregnancy (BOP)” by the players. I even used to have one of them as my profile picture in the game.
It wasn’t Jennis though.
She’s a 3-star character, but besides her fat tits and being a widower, she doesn’t really stand out.
But after looking at her from Louie’s perspective, she’s a whore who sells out the entire Permarten household to go serve the player.
Should I strike first before I get betrayed?
I could do something politically to pull that off…
“What do you think, Mother?”
“Yes. As the current lady of the house, what do you think? My new wife might even be older than you, but officially, you’d be the mother-in-law.”
“Yes. Whoever ends up becoming my wife probably won’t be too far off in age from you, Mother.”
“What do you– Well, whatever. I don’t need to overthink this.”
Jennis shook her head.
I only said what was on my mind, but she seemed to be deep in thought.
I wonder what was racing through her mind.
Just what was she thinking about?
“I’m going to find a woman befitting to be a Permarten and I hope you will help me. Of course, I won’t just bring in anyone. She will have to be someone I’ve heard of and one who is willing to live out the rest of her life here, in Permarten.”
Someone I’ve heard of.
Or at least, someone who was mentioned in the main story.
If possible, I’d want a virgin BOP character that’s good at sex.
Hm? How could someone be a virgin but be good at sex?
A BOP is how.
Being a virgin is the only thing holding her back from sex.
They’ll have to be a virgin… right?
I have faith.
The greedy gacha companies know better than I do about the importance of a character’s virginity.
Unless the character is some 3-star MILF sold in the cash store, no company would advertise their characters as being run-through.
Unless the game is a hopeless NSFW R-18 sex game.
She has to be a virgin.
Do I need to buy a unicorn?*
“What are you thinking about?”
“I was just thinking that my wife-to-be should be a virgin.”
Jennis didn’t say anything.
How could she stay silent after hearing all that?
“... Are you saying anyone is fine, as long as they’re virgins?”
“Not at all. They must be a virgin, but also beautiful, cultured, and educated enough to nurture our child to be the next Earl of Permarten. Most of all, she should have enough power to defend House Permarten, should something happen.
“... Don’t you think someone like that will be hard to find?”
It won’t be hard.
I personally know a truckload of people who could do the job, since at least 3 were released per month.
“Isn’t that why I’m asking you for your assistance? Anyone is fine as long as they meet the criteria. Or would you rather me make a public announcement instead?”
“Yes, an announcement saying the Scion of Permarten, Louie Permarten, is looking to take a wife.”
“N-no. We can’t!!”
Jennis quickly dismissed the suggestion.
“Don’t we have to take matters like this slowly…? Otherwise, it might attract gold diggers who’ll only come for your wealth. Let’s take our time.”
I was going to go through the wife applications and pick out all the 3-star characters.
“B-but wait. Is… being a pretty and powerful virgin all it takes…?
What’s there to complain about?
“It’s someone I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life, so it might as well be someone who brings me joy every time I look at her.”
Multiple women might be better than just one though.
Jennis’ cheeks flushed brightly as she slowly brought the glass to her lips.
Wait a minute.
*TLN: Typical Korean drinking saying. The first shot should be a one-shot / chugged.
*TLN: Typical fantasy setting where only virgins are able to ride unicorns.
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